liar,liar...

Lie : You are not loved!
Truth : If you were not loved, you would not exist.

Pure

Jesus, You are everything pure, good and beautiful.

Help me to imitate You in purity of intention,thought, heart and deed.

Teach me to give totally of myself and to be selfless. 

Teach me to not seek anything for myself but for You Who gave Yourself so freely for me.

Transform me. Consume me. Conquer me.

Dustin Kensrue - Disarmed

"Unassailable you waited, the great enemy of man, 'till your awful jaws were sated, and we were ransomed from your hands. So,where's your landslide? Where's you victory? Tell me now, where's your sting? Now that you have been disarmed we will cross over unharmed!"

A Cross that is Sweet

Many of you probably have read this article , but, I really wanted to pull out this part:

“The truth is that this cross – if you embrace it with Christ – ceases to be as ugly as it looks. If you trust in him, you discover that this fire, this cross, does not burn, and that peace can be found in suffering and joy in death,” said Enrico, according to CNA. “I spent a lot of time this year reflecting on this phrase from the Gospel that says the Lord gives a cross that is sweet and a burden that is light.

“When I would look at Chiara when she was about to die, I obviously became very upset. But I mustered the courage and a few hours before – it was about eight in the morning, Chiara died at noon – I asked her. 

“I said: ‘But Chiara, my love, is this cross really sweet, like the Lord says? She looked at me and she smiled, and in a soft voice she said, ‘Yes, Enrico, it is very sweet.’

“In this sense, the entire family didn’t see Chiara die peacefully, but happily, which is totally different.”

God gives a cross that is sweet. Not tolerable or bearable but sweet! So when this young woman died she wasn't just content in her sufferings she was happy! And as her husband,Enrico, pointed out it "...is totally different."

This point is also expressed so beautifully in this quote:

"The Everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross He now presents to you as a gift from His inmost Heart. This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with His loving arms and weighed with His own hands, to see that it be not one ounce to heavy for you. He has blessed it with His Holy Name, anointed it with His grace, perfumed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from Heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God."

I was reading through old letters from my best friend last night and he had quoted that in one letter; I almost cried. I have been struggling with a few things lately and this quote just shook me. "This is not just a test" I realized "is is a gift given with the deepest of loves. Despite my feelings, I am loved. It's going to be alright." Even as I typed that "I am loved" I felt something recoiling within me "No, it can't be true! It's a lie and will only end in pain." *sigh* the devil is such a jerk (to put it nicely :P ) he will do anything to keep me from God.

Bits&Bobs

- Joy. When I choose to live joyfully it is a way of thanking You and trusting that You will make everything okay. When I let myself be in a bad mood I am saying "So? Give me more. Then I'll be happy." When I choose Joy, I choose Hope.


- Jesus, even when we are busy and running around, You are there in the chapel for us. You wait. No matter how long we stay away, You wait. You remain there out of pure, selfless Love... how good You are to us!


- "Angle of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits me here..." My guardian angle loves God way more than I can; he is created spirit. He knows how much God loves me and so will protect me and ever guide me to God out of love for Him.


-  God will not leave me lacking ANYTHING :) I don't need to worry about if I can get a job with my intended major, if I'll make enough money..bla bla bla. He'll lead me to what is best for me.

Your Beloved shall Bring You Peace

"Close your door and call to your beloved Jesus. 

Remain with Him in your room, opening your heart completely to Him; 

for nowhere else will you find so much peace."

- The Imitation of Christ

Lilies of His Love...

The Revival

by: Henry Vaughan

Unfold, unfold! take in His light,

Who makes thy cares more short than night.

The joys, with which His day-star rise,

He deals to all but drowsy eyes;

And what the men of this world miss,

Some drops and dews of future bliss.

Hark how His winds have changed their note,

And with warm whispers call thee out.

The frosts and past, the storms are gone;

And backward life at last comes on.

The lofty groves in express joys

Reply unto the Turtles voice,

And here in dust and dirt, O here

The lilies of His love appear!

"And here in dust  and dirt, O here! The lilies of His love appear." I love those lines; they kept showing more meaning the more I thought about them. ( *sigh* I love poetry) It's amazing - in we who are but dust He manifests so much love! Sometimes it can be easy to forget the infinite gap between we who are at our very core nothing, for, that is of what we were created and He who is Infinite, Timeless and Creator. We forget because He lowers Himself for such an intimate relationship with us. O, how selfless is His love! Lilies need to dirt in which to grow, likewise, God, while He does not need us, uses us to manifest His Goodness, Beauty and most wonderful Love. While searching for photos to accompany this post I saw many white lilies which reminded me of Easter. Woah, because our sin and filth/dirt allowed Him to manifest His love in His most amazing passion and resurrection. 

Prison Cell

O Lord, I was not forced into this prison cell, no, I walked in freely. I ran in, hiding my sins from the Light. I let myself be barred from You. I was not trapped; the door was not locked, it was wide open, but I kept hitting the bars before me. You had a way out in plain sight so close to me but I was determined to get out on my own. 


The devil did not drag me here, I freely went. I was never forced, You always offered me the choice to turn back to You. I did not. I moped in that cell feeling hopeless never allowing myself to see the door You held open as wide as ever.


When my heart feels encased by sin it is foolish to give up. Imagine somebody sitting in a prison cell with the cell door wide open leaving him free to escape at any time but he just sits and stares at the bars before him. Isn't that foolish? I am a fool, Lord, for fearing to run to You and allow You to rescue me.

Sweet Rose..

Virtue

By: George Herbert

Sweet day, so cool, so calm, to bright!

The bridal of the earth and sky --

The dew shall weep thy fall tonight;

For thou must die.

Sweet rose, whose hue angry and brave

Bids the rash gazer wipe his eye,

Thy root is ever in its grave,

And thou must die.

Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses,

A box where sweets compacted lie,

My music shows ye have your closes,

And all must die.

Only a sweet and virtuous soul,

Like season'd timber, never gives;

But thought the whole world turns to coal,

Then chiefly lives.

All earthly things, no matter how lovely or beautiful, will fade. They are beautiful only because the are of He who is Beauty itself. In a way they are accidents of God who is the substance. For example, lovely flowers may be destroyed but beauty still exists. Even if every little pretty thing was destroyed beauty would still be. Men can come to possess beauty as their own by developing virtuous souls; and since men have immortal souls, which will live on after the body dies, that beauty will exist in souls without being destroyed and cannot be damaged by material things. When the world "turns to coal", the soul not only survives  but "chiefly lives". The soul and its beauty live even more so being detached from all earthly chains. Detached from the worlds ugliness and seeing Beauty face to Face, the virtuous soul is most joyful, complete and living as it ought. :]

O Happy Day, Happy Day! I'll never be the same...

My parents were talking about paying for college tonight and of course I got into a bad mood. Hearing how much money we'll have to pay makes me feel guilty and angry; obviously I blame myself for the amount of money owed. I get angry that I don't have more shifts and can't earn more money...blah blah blah. I did what I often do when I'm upset; I go on a walk. As I was walking (more like storming) around my neighborhood, listening to my iPod, this song came on :

                                       

It made me realize how silly it was to get so upset over something so temporary. It also reminded me of something I once heard quoted "Let nothing so sadden you that you forget the joy of that first Easter." Don't let the devil overtake your heart by earthly cares because your joy is in Someone unchanging.

:)

O Time...where'd ya go?

As I sat at a picnic table in front of my old school building I was just thinking how fast things move. 6 years ago I was an angry little 7th grader forced to start at this "weird school full of religious sheltered kids" now I'm a graduate of that same school who finally appreciates the beauty of the Latin Mass, choral music, and how the truths we learn all point to He who is Truth itself. I've learned to see everything as being connected and ordered to our end. In another 6 years I'll be a college graduate and maybe even married; after another 6, I might have kids and so forth until I'm dead and gone. What will my earthly accomplishments matter then? What will anything matter unless it has been redeemed by Christ? All my efforts will be a waste unless they are for the glory of God or repentance for sins.
I don't like change. I don't like new places and new people; it scares me. How amazing is it that our God is eternal, never-changing? No matter how drastically things change around me, He will remain the same. O Lord, You are my shelter :)

my old school building

Don't Look Back

In the gospel reading for my graduation Mass, Jesus heals a woman who then immediately gets up and waits on them. Yup. She didn't sit around and want people to feel sorry for her or think back on how she used to be. No. She being healed went right back into her daily routine without longing for her old way. This really struck me.  I know when I have been healed of something (forgiven of a sin or becoming well after being sick..etc) I am tempted to dwell on the past "Oh wasn't it soo awful what I went through? I can't possibly do what I used to because I have been weakened so." bla bla bla. Jesus restores us to full health and more! If I have sinned horribly and Jesus forgives, it is foolish to dwell on the past and think it can still hold me back. It's gone. Jesus forgave. Why do I run back to my sin, almost asking it to ensnare me once again? Once I have fallen and go to confession I ought to be like the woman in the gospel and serve my Lord without a second thought for the past. After Confession any lingering guilt is a sign of distrust of His great mercy; it is from the devil.

Begin Each Day In This Way...

O Maria transform my heart unto thine. 

Place around it a wreath of purity, 

adorned in virtue.

Take my heart, dear Mother, 

consecrated as your own.

Present it to God the Father as an

offering from me to you.

Help me O Maria in each day 

to make your heart more known.

Amen.