Beautiful One I Love, Beautiful One I Adore...

Beauty draws us to God. Gorgeous weather never fails to draw me closer to God; I feel Him all around me and it's so clear He is in everything that He created. This also applies to man-made things. For example, today I went to art museum with my school and seeing all of the lovely painting just made me happy. Delighting in beauty is a distinct quality of man's; something animals cannot do. Animals, plants and the bodies of men are made in God's image (with His imprint) but men also have spirit (a soul) which is in God's likeness. As spirit, men can delight in beauty and truth. It makes sense that these things raise us to God because doing so we are using our most "God-like faculty". I think all people yearn to make beauty for themselves either through drawing, painting, singing, music, words or even in how they dress. That's one of the reasons I'm so excited to go to college; as a writing and theology major, I'm excited to learn how to make beautiful things with the written word. I want to write beautiful poetry that raises the reader to God, describe the beauty I see around me, and better articulate the truths of my God and King Who is Goodness, Truth and Beauty itself.

Courage.

I stumbled across this quote (thanks, Pinterest!) and I just had to share it.

"Courage doesn't always roar. 

Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at 

the end of the day saying, 

'I will try again tomorrow.'"

When you feel beaten down and discouraged that once again you have fallen into a sin; every voice in your head tells you "give up! you failure!" but you open your heart to your God, expose your sin and weakness, and say 'I trust in You. I will not give up. With You I cannot fail. I will keep on fighting for You."... that is courage.

Thank You...

... for sunshine
... for cooling winds and raindrops
... that I'm done with exams! One more week of high school and then I'm donedonedone!
... for teaching me how to suffer for You and how to see suffering as the wonderful, purifying good that is it.
... for good music and fun times with friends
... for getting me through this busy work week smoothly :) 
... for good conversations with coworkers
... for good food and pretty dresses
... for the excitement and hope I feel thinking about my next 4 years of college 
... and for always being faithful and always being present. Your love is so selfless! You don't love me for Yourself, You lower Yourself for me. When I let school and work consume me You still patiently, gently draw me back to You.

Crazy.

(paraphrasing Frank Sheed here!)

To sin is to try and find happiness outside of the One who keeps us in existence. To sin is to use things wholly dependent on God for happiness rather than the source Himself. Makes it sound pretty ridiculous, right?

almost done!

Done with thesis and soon to be done with exams.. *sigh*.. I can just feel summer break in the air =) Then it's off to college to learn more and more about my God and how I can better serve Him through my writing. Lord, You give everything meaning. You are my Hope and my Joy!

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new 

...

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

face to face

My King and my God, someday I shall see You face to face. When that day comes I want You to know I did my very best to know You, love You, and serve You. "Why did you not spend more time with Me? Did you not love Me?" You shall hold me accountable for my actions and I want to have given You my all. I love You so much and want to live my life for You alone. None of my actions shall ever be enough to deserve You but they are all I have to offer..and in Your mercy and love, You accept them.

i love You.

"I am Yours; save me,

 for I cherish Your precepts."

-Psalms 119: 94

Your Love is a Song..

STRESS.

By the anxieties and worries of this life 

Satan tries to dull man's heart

 and make a dwelling for himself there.

-St. Francis of Assisi 

I.HAVE.BEEN.SO.STRESSED. My senior thesis is to be presented in just a few days and I am so scared it won't be ready in time. I'm so scared that it won't be good enough. I really want my thesis to be very well done because I feel like this is my chance to prove to people that I do care. I'm not just some air-head and I can think for myself. This is my chance to prove to people that I'm something more. Call me vain or paranoid, but all this pressure has really been getting to me. I know I need to just let go...

My Lord and my God, I offer to You my worries. 

I offer You my fears and stresses. 

I know everything will fit in to Your most perfect plan. 

Everything will be okay.

You are in charge of all the earth and it is all under Your command. You perfectly order my life for the benefit of my soul. 

My King, how good You are to me!

 

the Ocean of His Goodness

"Let us throw ourselves 

into the ocean of His goodness, 

where every failing will be canceled 

and anxiety turned into love."

 - St.  Paul of the Cross

Outside of Time

I've always heard people say "pray for your future husband/children" and that God is not limited by time in anyway; your prayers today could have aided somebody years ago and, likewise, your prayers may aide those in the future. We have also been studying creation recently and the awesome fact that God knew each person fully before He brought him into existence.  Well, putting the two together.. "Woah! Jesus, You know these future children I am praying for. You don't just know that they're going to exist, You know who they are. You know them fully and intimately. You know their future struggles and joys. You know every little thing about them."

You may be reading this and thinking "well....duh. so what?" But I just thought it was really cool. It's so hard to wrap our minds around God being outside of time; obviously, we have no experience without time. God is. He is everything He is capable of at once. Nothing can be added or taken from Him. wow. I also just find that really really comforting. He is the most stable, concrete thing in my life; everything depends on Him for existence. i love You.

TRUST.

God has really been teaching me to trust lately.
The new summer schedule came out at my work and I expecting to work Thursday - Sunday since I had asked for more shifts this summer and am already working Friday - Sunday. So, when the schedule was put up and I saw that I'll only be working Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, I freaked out; the Thursday shift has less hours and often worse tips.
 I had a mini-panic attack: "Nooo! Now I won't reach my goal amount before I leave for college... I won't have enough money and I'll be a homeless bum on the streets for the rest of my life because I can't pay off my college loans..ahhhh!!! *dramatically faints*" 
Money is kind of touchy for me because I'm getting no scholarships so far and my intended majors (Theology and Writing) do not not exactly get high-paying jobs. I was planning on working 6-5 days a week this summer and when I saw that plan wasn't going to work out, I panicked. 
Then I stopped myself. 
"Wait, God is in control. This is all in God's plan." I have to trust that this is the best for me right now. Maybe He wants me to spend more time hanging out with people instead of being a work-obsessed bum this summer. I have no idea how this will work out but I do know that it's in His plan and He will provide for me.

Absolutely, Truly in Love

"...just so those who love God are never weary of thinking upon Him, living for Him, yearning for Him, and talking of Him, and they would fain grave the holy and blessed Name of Jesus upon the hearts of every human being throughout the world. 

To such as these everything speaks of Him, and His whole creation joins them in lauding their Beloved. The whole world speaks to them in a silent but intelligible language of their love, everything excites them to holy thoughts, whence arise countless and elevating aspirins after God." - St. Frances de Sales

St.Frances then proceeds to give example of many Saints moved to profound thoughts of love and devotion by things so often overlooked; the ocean, gently flowing steams, lovely flowers, animals, the wind, the trees and any other creation of our God can move us to holy thoughts of love. It is, after all, through the visible that we come to see the invisible. =)

worship.

I am weak. I am broken. I am sinful. I am prideful. I am foolish. 

I am reckless. I am gullible. 

I am self centered, ungrateful and spoiled. 

but...I am Yours.