Hallelujah

God has really been helping me through music lately. He's reminding me that I am not alone in what I'm feeling and He loves no matter what.

At first I am afraid but not because of fearBut the Holy of Holies is drawing me nearYour voice like thunder shakes the ground I'm on
So hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh LordHide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne, Your throne

Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slainHallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slainAnd so we enter in to see Your face, yeahEnter in to see Your face, oh God

Well, I'm falling to my knees, I feel the earth beneathWith the weight of my sin and this crushing unbeliefCould You really love me with all that I've done, oh Lord?

So hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh LordHide my sin from the beauty here before Your throneHide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh LordHide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne...You spread Your hands and made a refugeFor the weak and blessed, the weary, bruised and brokenTook our sin inside Your wounds we hide awayInside Your wounds we hideHallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slainHallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slainAnd so we enter in to see Your face, yeahEnter in to see Your face, oh God- Tenth Avenue North

Nobody Loves Me Like You

I was struggling with something. 
I was starting to feel really upset and angry with myself and so I began planning to binge because it fit how I was feeling; worthless. Just then the song "Nobody Loves Me Like You" by Jars of Clay came on the radio. 

It hit me. I was looking for comfort in something I know I shouldn't have and was mad at myself for displeasing God; my thought process went no further. I wasn't thinking about how He loves! I wasn't thinking that He cares about me and isn't mad at me for getting upset. He wants me to stay away from certain things because He loves me. I had been getting into the mind set of only doing things to show I love Him but wasn't thinking of the other half; I wasn't thinking of His love. He wants me to do certain things because He loves me and knows I will only have perfect happiness in Him. He cares. Nobody could ever love me as fiercely or want my happiness like He does. It's often very hard for me to accept being loved or cared about but...He said so. He died. He is ever present in the Eucharist. He is Truth. He is my security and safety.
...it's going to be okay.

One Thing.

One Thing by: Jonny Diaz
I bought my ticket and I paid in cash
I thought that this time the ride would last
And lead me to what I am looking for

I see the world as it rushes by
But nothing new is grabbing my eye
Just everything that I have tried before

Maybe I've been looking in the wrong place
Maybe I've been thinking that the world will
Fill me up full enough but it never works that way

There is just one thing that fills me up
One thing that's true
There is just one thing that satisfies
That one thing is You

Show me everything I did not see
While I was searching the world for what was right in front of me
So much wasted wasting time

I see that I've been headed down the wrong track
Now I don't wanna ever go back
To the way it was all because
You're all I'll ever need

I'm tired of settling for this world and its bitter dreams
There's nothing here that satisfies like You 
- One Thing, Jonny Diaz


I was listening to that song today and even though "There is just one thing that satisfies, that one thing is You" may seem like an obvious statement, I don't think I can be reminded of it enough. I got into a bad mood today and sat on the computer watching YouTube videos and doing some online window shopping; but the whole time I just felt a tugging at my heart to pray my daily rosary. I kept ignoring it thinking "I'll pray it later." but then it hit me. I was struck with the foolishness of trying to find comfort from mind numbing videos "Do I really think this will make me feel any better?" I want more. I need more. Nothing in this world can possibly satisfy me or relieve my pain except God. Sure, God may send  people or situations to cheer me up but my turning to material goods like food or clothes for comfort is pretty ridiculous. How can I satisfy the yearnings of my immortal soul with something as temporary and unsubstantial as a piece of clothing or a bowl of ice cream? "The Lord's my Shepard, I shall not want." He is my only comfort and the only thing that will ever satisfy.

How Great is Our God?

"Who has cupped in His hand the waters of the sea, and marked off the heavens with a span? Who has held in a measure the dust of the earth, weighed the mountains in scales and the hills in a balance?...To whom can you liken God? With what equal can you confront Him?...Do you not know or have you not heard? The Lord is the eternal God, creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow faint nor weary, and His knowledge is beyond scrutiny. He gives strength to the fainting; for the wear He makes vigor abound."
- Isaiah 40:12,18,28-30

Lovely Lady

I saw this painting at the art museum and I've thought back to it often the past few days. Mary is kneeling, praying, with book in hand which is open to Isaiah 7:14 " A young woman is with child and she will bear a son." I love this painting. Mary is prepared; waiting for whatever God wills for her life. She is so humble, submissive and full of love. She is so lovely!!

The Annunciation - Veronese

Here's a link to the art museum's page on this painting.

Confession

I wrote the first stanza before confession and the second one after. I was going to add more but I think I'll leave it short and simple.

 Your mighty hand, so gentle,

Reaching out to me,

Beckons me for healing,

For You to set me free.

It is not for judgment 

Nor punishment, O Lord,

But cleansing, loving dearly,

You are ever giving more.

My Shelter

My best friend turned these old lyrics of mine:


The fire of Your great love
Has warmed my cold and frightened soul,
Scarred from battles
And lost without a home.

I have fallen too ashamed to seek You out.
Yet part of me still hopeful cries,

Father, my shelter, my all.
I know that I'm not worthy
But in Your love answer my call

Capture me in Your embrace,
Surround me with Your arms.
Only then am I at peace,
Completely safe from harm.

(Repeat chorus)

Your burning love has warmed my guarded heart x3

(Repeat Chorus)

into this song :

http://soundcloud.com/matthew-doh/my-shelter-lyrics-by-elizabeth


It just makes me so happy when these things come together for His glory :)

Temptation ≠ Sin

Hey! I just wanted to share a post I just wrote for my other blog:
All for Jesus, through Mary, with a Smile: Temptation ≠ Sin: I was reading a chapter of a book by St.Frances de Sales which was focused on temptation vs actually sinning. He said that even if a soul wa...

four little things

On the Death of his Daughter by: Cotton Mather

The dearest Lord of Heaven gave

Himself an offering once for me:

The dearest thing on earth I have,

Now, Lord, I'll offer unto Thee.

I see my best enjoyments here,

Are loans, and flowers, and vanities;

Ere well enjoy'd they disappear:

Vain smoke, they prick and leave our eyes.

But I believe, O glorious Lord,

That when I seem to lose these toys,

What's lost will fully be restor'd

In glory, with eternal joys.

I do believe, that I and mine,

Shall come to everlasting rest;

Because, blest Jesus, we are Thine,

And with Thy promises are blest.

I do believe the every bird

Of mine, which to the ground shall fall,

Does fall at Thy kind will and word,

Nor I, nor it, is hurt at all.

Now my believing soul does hear

This among the glad angels told; 

I know thou dost thy Maker fear,

From whom thou nothing dost withhold! 

I love this poem so very much. It is just so beautiful! It expresses so well this man's emotions and his total surrender to God's will in his life and trust that everything is in His wonderful plan for the benefit of every beloved creature.

Wonder v.s Worry

"Are you content to leave things to God?" That line stuck me as I was reading a devotional today. It seems like it would be what is easiest; it seems that we would easily shake off worries and leave them to the God of the universe.. but it's hard. We want control. Wanting that control, however, shows a lack of trust. We are more comfortable with handling things in our own flawed ways than turning them over to our flawless God. Seems kind of silly, right? It's not evil to worry about things, it's only wrong to worry past a certain point...actually, maybe it's okay to "wonder" and harmful to "worry". Rather than worrying about how we're going to accomplish some future task (like,ya know, paying off college loans...oi.) one should feel at peace knowing that there is something bigger than that. There is a plan and a God governing the universe from the beginning of time until it's end. So, we could wonder how this will work out but trust that everything will be alright. St. Francis said something to the effect of "By the worries and anxieties in this life Satan dulls our souls and claims us as his."

There is also such a freedom in dying to oneself. To not care so much for material well being but only care for the good of the soul. For example, if I became a homeless bum on the street, sure it's not great if I want material goods, but it might be better for my soul. Maybe God is keeping me from temptations of greed and granting me a gift by allowing me to be in poverty in this world as He was. After all, Jesus lived in poverty and suffered greatly while on this earth - why would I deserve any better?

"Say not "I will repay evil!" Trust in the Lord and He will help you." - Proverbs 20:22

Joy and Suffering

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which comes upon you to prove you, as thought something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. If one suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but under that name the him glorify God."

 - 1 Peter 4:12-14, 17

I have heard that phrase "share in Christ's suffering" quite often but never really took the time to think about what it meant. Suffering it truly wonderful. Think of a rock tumbler; rough rocks are put in and are then smashed and rubbed against each other repeatedly. The process can take a few weeks but once it is finished the rocks which were once hard, rough and ugly are now polished and revealed as the gems that they are. 
Similarly with suffering, we may feel beaten down and bashed around but what is really happening is a purification. Ugly parts are breaking off, rubbing away and we are being refined. Suffering can reveal to us who we truly are.If suffering was purposeless then Christ would not have used it as the tool for our redemption. He who is Purity itself, He who cannot be purified, underwent awful trials not for His benefit but for the sake of a world so desperately in need of purity. Offering our sufferings up to Christ is just a little way to say "You suffered for me, I'll suffer for You." Speak to Him. Admit to Him that the task you are faced with is unpleasant but resolve to face it bravely and cheerfully and so offer it up to Him. Suffering redeemed us, suffering refines us, so rejoice!

simplicity.

I was listening to this song and the opening lyrics just made me think "Ya know, it is really so simple."

"I'm not satisfied in this lifetime

I'm following you to the other side

There's nothing that can change my mind

You're all I need.

 

You're the only tie that binds my heart

Away from you I'm falling apart

We need to be closer than we are

You're all I need."