The Finding

I go through a lot of dry prayer, a lot of empty feeling, and that's what the finding of the child Jesus makes me think of. When in dry prayer I tend to start feeling hopeless. I push the thought away over and over but it always springs back trying to overtake my heart. Maybe that's what Mary and Joseph began feeling. Maybe they began to fear and give up but those thoughts could not have lasted more than a moment; the deep rooted, fierce love for their child would have quickly doused all such lies. They loved Him and so kept up the search for Him and were rewarded with great joy. Likewise, when in dry prayer, we must keep searching, looking, fighting for our Lord because of Love. He loves us and we adore Him. As Thrice's song The Weight says, "Come what may I won't abandon you or leave you behind because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment." Nobody said it would be easy but the fight is so completely worth it. Think of the joy in those brief moments of intimacy in adoration or communion. Now imagine that magnified for eternity. That's what we're fighting for.

Violet.

I'm the kind of person who get discouraged very easily: one bad grade, one harsh criticism and all of a sudden any hope I had of excelling in that field is over. I have never been the best -- or even particularly good -- at anything and it would always get me down but now I'm starting to see things differently. It doesn't matter if I'm the best; it doesn't matter if I'm praised or recognized. It only matters if I add a little bit of beauty, all that I can, with my life. Think of a violet. It's a tiny little thing, not particularly beautiful, not particularly important but it still adds beauty.

Lord, I offer it and hope someday to glorify You not as the great, gorgeous sunflower or the classicly beautiful and lovely rose but as a violet; small and not noticed but still beautifying, still sweetly perfuming the air. Your will be done.

Consecration.

This past weekend I consecrated myself to Mary.  Has it made me perfect? Has it made me more virtuous? Not noticeably. I've stressed over finals, stressed over myself and my bad habits and I have fallen again and again. But I have felt a more tangible relationship to my Mother and security in running to her. She's been gently pushing me to go to adoration more and call on her Son in times of great stress.
My Mother, my guide, my protectress, I give myself totally and completely to you and your Son.

What hurts?

Standing in the line for confession, my friend Joe leaned over and said, "Here's your chance to hear Jesus. Tell Him what hurts."
I stopped. I felt like crying. Me? Loved like that? Yes, I know that Christ became man for me, He saved me, He loves me. But to embrace the idea of being loved so much that even trivial matters are important and cared for... I stop short every time.

My Jesus, I know You love me personally and intimately; You love me, Liz, not me, created human soul #5 trillion. It's a personal knowledge. Jesus, I know the more I open my heart to You and allow You to embrace, conquer and rule it, the more deeply in love I will fall and more grounded I will become. I am Yours -- take me.

Simple Child

""Children do no inspire terror or aversion, but attachment and love" says St. Peter Chrysologus. It seems that children know not how to be angry; and if perchance at odd times they should be irritated, they are easily soothed; one has only to give them a fruit, a flower, or bestow on them a caress, or utter a kind word to them, and they have already forgiven and forgotten every offense.

    A tear of repentance, one act of heart-felt contrition, is enough to appease the Infant Jesus. "You know the tempers of children," pursues St. Thomas of Villanova; "a single tear pacifies them, the offense is forgotten. Approach, then, to Him while he is a little one, while he would seem to have forgotten his majesty, and appears as a child to inspire us with more courage to approach his feet."

- St. Alphonsus De Liguori

How simple He is; how peaceful.

Lord Jesus, teach me to empty myself.