#shameless promo

Hey ya'll! So I've started another blog for more personal day-to-day type posts. If you're interested, please check it out:
 http://withlovefromliz.blogspot.com
:)

love&hope

I am so young. It is so foolish for me to become so hardened and so jaded when there is a whole life filled with new experiences laying in front of me. There is always hope and redemption. Love is real. Love is possible. Love is holding this entire fragile little universe together -- it is the tender, gentle, unbreakable strong force comforting the cryer and spurring the fighter. Love will carry us through. 
It is so freeing to be able to let go of pain -- the need for "justice" -- and be free. Pain, anger and fear will only result in a metal box of sorts to be built around my heart. But when I can come to terms with my pain and choose hope, the box will shatter. The chains will fall off and I will be free. 
It is most certainly a fight and a battle to give of yourself. To open your heart and let yourself feel. But it is how we were made -- we were made to feel, hurt, cry, love, burst... we were made to feel all of these various things and be free and not be locked within a self-made box. 
Have hope. Choose love. Be free.

"My Father and I will come and make our home with him. Let your door stand open to receive him, unlock your soul to him, offer him a welcome in your mind, and then you will see the riches of simplicity, the treasures of peace, the joy of grace. Throw wide the gate of your heart, stand before the sun of the everlasting light that shines on every man. This true light shines on all, but if anyone closes his window he will deprive himself of eternal light. If you shut the door of your mind, you shut out Christ. Though he can enter, he does not want to force his way in rudely, or compel us to admit him against our will.

Born of a virgin, he came forth from the womb as the light of the whole world in order to shine on all men. His light is received by those who long for the splendor of perpetual light that night can never destroy. The sun of our daily experience is succeeded by the darkness of night, but the sun of holiness never sets, because wisdom cannot give place to evil.

Blessed then is the man at whose door Christ stands and knocks. Our door is faith; if it is strong enough, the whole house is safe. This is the door by which Christ enters. So the Church says in the Song of Songs: The voice of my brother is at the door. Hear his knock, listen to him asking to enter: Open to me, my sister, my betrothed, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is covered with dew, and my hair with the moisture of the night."

--- St. Ambrose

fearless

Today was an amazing, boundary-breaking, limit-pushing kind of day. I went on a trip with three friends from work to explore caves and wander around the woods. This trip, however, had been causing me some internal debate and anxiety. On the one hand, I knew that we would be doing things I was afraid to do but, on the other favored hand, I knew it was something I wanted to do because I was afraid. I'm scared of the dark unknown of caves and forests but I wanted to get over it so that I could enjoy the beauty within them.
I pushed through these minor fears feeling pretty proud and then came... heights. Fun fact about me is that I am wholly, irrationally, irrevocably afraid of heights. "Escalators and tall buildings make me cry" afraid of heights. It's bad. So as we were climbing around and exploring these caves there came a point where we had to jump from one ledge to another which looked easy enough until my flashlight lit up the drop below. I froze. My heart started beating faster and fear gripped my entire body -- there was no way I could possibly go further...but I did. With some coaxing and hand holding I got across both ways and (obviously) didn't die (to my great surprise.)
After a cave or two we took a short respite on a cliff overlooking the forest -- with a gentle breeze swaying the trees it was absolutely gorgeous. I pulled out my journal and wrote:
"That moment when you feel fear grip your heart and all you want to do is pull away is the moment you are able to push yourself as a person. Why be afraid? The spider will touch you, so what? Why let your fears control your life? You are capable of so much more than you think. The world is filled with so many possibilities and chances -- take them! Be free. Be alive. See the amazing world we have been given in full."
If I hadn't gone I would have missed out on a beautiful moss covered haven of a place with a gentle, clear, untainted stream running through it. It had a truly magical feel.

Or these caves! Scared out of my mind but so much fun to climb around and explore.

 Or this jaw-droppingly gorgeous river. We made our way to the rock you see in the photos and -- worn out from climbing and hiking -- all stretched out and basked in the sun, lulled by the sounds of the river, for the good part of an hour.

photo credit all goes to Matt Evans (the instigator of the trip)

When I am immersed in nature, I am immersed in God. I think of saints like Pier Giorgio Frassati who scaled mountains and climbed trees all the while being a brilliant, fierce defender of his God and his Faith. So, I guess my point of this post is to encourage any one who reads this to take the risk -- to push your body and mind to new capabilities and explore this brilliant, beautiful created world.

Live Putting Death to Shame

"Go be the voice of God.

Go live the life putting death to shame."

-- Go Be The Voice, Beartooth

Things always sound so much more appealing when put actively. "Put death to shame" is more appealing than "don't sin" but it's the same thing. Avoiding sin is battling, winning this fight against death and corruption. This idea of not sinning is in reality not passive in the least. Passivity would give into the temptations and moment's pleasure leading finally to death -- to a gradual handing over of the freedom won for you by Christ and enslaving yourself to the devil. Saying no to each temptation, saying yes to the beautiful gift of eternal joy won, puts death to shame and shows it to be the weaker, the lesser, the conquered. As Pope Benedict XVI said "The world promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness." On the outside looking in people see a boring life missing out on "all the fun stuff" but actually they're witnessing a silent, constant battle of a broken sinner striving for the highest good and best version of himself. Go, fight hard, put death to shame.

gentle words

"Would not God have discovered this, God who knows the secrets of our hearts?" 

- Psalm 44:22

"Since my heart was embittered and my soul deeply wounded,  I was stupid and could not understand; I was like a brute beast in Your presence.  Yet I am always with You; You take hold of my right hand. With Your counsel you guide me, and at the end receive me with honor." 

- Psalm 73: 21- 24

Ashamed, lost, unworthy? He knows. Broken, wounded and blinded by your own pain? He knows, He understands. Confused and haunted by a sin? He knows it. How silly it is that we hide our hurts from the one who already knows them all and is the only one able to heal. Although the process may hurt, the only way to heal is to extract the thing causing the pain -- much like a thorn in a poor dog's paw -- reveal it to the light and the Physician and be freed. 

I so often fall into the mind set "Oh, shoot. I messed up. Let me do well for while and then I'll be worthy to come before Him and say I'm sorry." No! Stupidity. It is when I am most miserable, foolish, and unworthy that I need Him, the comforter of the broken-hearted. 

Resplendent Beauty

“If things created are so full of loveliness, how resplendent with beauty must be the One who made them!"

-St. Anthony of Padua

(Photo credit: Sean Dougherty)

This makes me so happy. When I feel overwhelmed by the beauty of a work of art, a kind gesture, a joyful soul or a perfect lyric my first marvel is at how such a poor creature as man could make something so good and so beautiful. Not often enough, however, do I turn my mind to the Source. If I feel like my heart would burst because of earthly beauty -- earthly reflections of Beauty -- then how much more cause do I have to be completely enthralled by the One who made it so. And how much better when my soul is finally freed from this body and earthly chains to to behold pure, untainted Joy, Beauty and Love. Oh, how good He is that we should behold even a fraction of this perfection!