vulnerability&humility

When I keep getting over-stressed, feeling inadequate or angry at myself for all my many, many screw ups and failures, I have to step back, breathe and take the focus off myself. Instead of "I'm sorry I am so weak and am such a failure." I need to acknowledge the weakness in myself and ask for more of Him. Just as praise should be redirected towards Him for the good I do, so should the focus be on Him to fill my weakness. Perpetually beating myself up for my weakness -- proudly claiming I'll fix it on my own -- and not asking for help, will only lead to continual failure. 
The root of my problems can be similarly dealt with. Instead of asking for the love or attention of others, I should ask for the grace to be truly humble -- to be delivered from the desire of being loved and to be content in who and what He gives me. 
Pride is such a sneaky little thing. I am so easily tricked into thinking that I'm being humble when it is really a blinding flare of pride. Keeping my problems inside to the point of self destruction, trying to do things on my own, low-self esteem and the like so often seem to be done from a place of humility but so often it is masked pride. 
A deep vulnerability, methinks, is necessary for true humility. It is probably one of the hardest things to do in this life but we have been given the most incredible, moving, brilliant example in Our Lord as a tiny child. The King of kings Who became the lowest of the low, loving with reckless abandon and keeping nothing for Himself. 
Most beloved Infant, have mercy on us and teach us true humility.